Thirty-Two Years
Water's rising, fire is falling
There's soldiers marching 'cross the sea
And all I think is: you are far from me
Twenty four, her life before her
The world was wide and love adored her
At twenty four she planned a wedding, at twenty five she planned a wake
And all this time I thought my heart knew how to break – but I've never really known
You don't talk about these things when you're thirty-two years old
We build lives and we build houses, cars and sand and clouds
We build walls to keep us safe and then it all comes down
It all comes down so easily
We pull close the ones we love, we pull close the ones who matter
We pull close the ones we've lost and watch it all come down
It all comes down
We hold on to each other, we make love like it's a lifeline
Brief human touch to see us through the cold
You don't talk about these things when you're thirty-two years old
My love, sleep tight
There's two thousand miles between us tonight
But four more days and four more towns 'til I can wake beside you
I sat by the foot of the bed and watched her sleep, as though that would be helpful
The brief embrace of human kindness to see us through the cold
Said "Goodbye, my friend, sleep well. We'll do our best to keep her sheltered –
To hold her up and dry those tears and all the things I know you'd do if you were here"
And all this time, I thought my heart knew how to break – but I've never really lost
You don't talk about these things when you're thirty-two years old
All my life these things mistake for heartbreak – but I've never really known
You don't talk about these things when you're thirty-two years old
All I See
If I were making you as happy as you say I do, wouldn't this be easier?
Couldn't this be easier?
But I know you… You keep insisting that the answers hide where the questions lie
I think that's 'cause in the truth there's nowhere for you to hide
So I hide from you for one more night and I end up walking home at midnight
It's getting colder, and the city hasn't fixed those streetlights
I think that valour has a soul of discretion
And you don't seem to notice when I don't answer your questions
But I want you to be the better part of me
And I want you to know these things are true
Alone, I am not lonely since I know you're out there
And in a room full of people the only one I see is you
If you were making me as happy as I think you do, then wouldn't it be easier to know?
I love to be beside you, but that little voice inside you
Keeps nudging at us both to just let go
One of these days I'm gonna tell you that I love you
and I think you'll probably fall right off your chair – (but I'm scared that)
One of these days I'll go to reach for you and you're not gonna be there
So stay at arm's length, you'll be all right
And I'll be walking home at midnight
Feeling colder as I'm slowly drained of your light
I think my discretion has a soul of cowardice
If you really want me, you're gonna have to be a little reckless
The people, they think they know which way that this will go
And maybe, just maybe, they're smarter than you and me
Because alone I am not lonely since I know you're out there
And in a room full of people you're the only one I see
But I want you to be the better part of me
And I want you to know these things are true
Alone, I am not lonely 'cause I know you're out there
And in a room full of people the only one I see is you
All I see is you
Stay at arm's length, you'll be all right
I'll be walking home at midnight
All I see is you
Everybody
It was way too warm for October
But you didn't hear us complain that the summer was holding on
The day was half gone when we finally struck out North
But I knew you were never gonna be on time
Truth was back then I didn't really mind
You showed me all your favourite places
And everybody caught on to those smiles
And the whole wide world was a blue sky in between us
And we dropped a little sorrow with every mile
Halfway between your home and me
We ate pie in a shitty little diner when we circled back on the 103
Everybody in that place could hear us laughing
And everybody in that place just let us be
Everybody could see the way you loved me
Except me
We got back to the city, my block had no electricity
You said, "If you want, just tonight, you could stay with me"
The trouble with you and me is we never knew where to stop
'Cause we had the whole wide world between us and now it's not
Everybody could see the way I loved you
Except me
Now it's way too cold here for March
And all I do is complain how the winter is holding on
I miss that feeling: I was yours and you were mine
But you and I have such different ideas about the passing of time
Don't ask. Don't tell. It will all be fine
Everybody could see that we were falling
Except us
And the whole wide world was a blue sky in between us
And the whole wide world was the blue sky in your eyes
And the whole wide world was a blue sky in between us
And the whole wide world was your arm on my shoulder while you drive
The whole wide world...
We had the whole wide world between us and now it's not
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Lost
You think that maybe, you were meant for her
But how can that be true?
If I was meant for you?
I washed the mug where you drank your tea
I washed the evidence of you from me
I can't believe that you and me were just another chapter in these sad sad stories
But don't call me up and sing me love songs
When I know you're not there alone
And if you knew that I'd be so damn lost, how could you let me go?
I think that nature finds a level, I think some people live in peace
I think that you're going to find that you miss me
I think that you like to make like you've been in control all along
And I don't know how to stay strong that everything turns out right when everything feels wrong
So don't call me up and sing me love songs
When I know you're not there alone
And if you knew that I'd be so damn lost, how could you let me go?
So it's you in your corner and me in mine
We're singing the same damn song, baby, but we're singing in different time –
And if I can't match your key to mine?
But one and one make two and if there ain't room for me and you
Then I'll remove the evidence of you from me
Oh didn't we write a sad sad story?
Just don't call me up and sing me love songs
When I know you're not there alone
And if you knew that I'd be so damn lost, how could you let me go?
Distance
The road turned strange in an instant
And I can calculate the miles, but not the distance
And you remain as what I leave behind
My feet cross this empty parking lot – I think of all we've lost
This time last year, you'd never find us apart
But I've found a new love, and new love's inspiring
And your life kept going without me, I guess
Now you offer friendship with borders so tense
that I can calculate the edges but not the recompense
Now I've spent another dark season out here on your door
And the city at night feels no less lonely than you've felt your whole life
So one of us keeps running but I can't say which one
And there's pieces left stranded that never saw the sun
And you remain as all I leave behind
But I've found a new love and new love is soothing
So I'll find my way back and clean up my mess
Of tired recollections, regret and redress
So I can calculate the absences but not this thing called happiness
The road turned strange at that last turn
But I can calculate the miles 'til I'm with her
Just – I've grown this need to keep leaving
You're starting a family or you're moving away
Or you're calling to apologize for all the things you couldn't say
And I remain as what you leave behind
But I've found a new love, and new love's inspiring
So your life can go on without me, I guess
We'll settle for friendship with borders too tense
'Cause I can calculate the edges, but not the recompense
Fearless
You call it fearless – and I've got you believing
that there's some vague act of bravery in the why that I am leaving
And maybe it is cowardice to tell you this now
But I made such a mess of loving you, that I can't go on living in this town
I can't go on living in this town
We thought we had it all figured out, remember?
We thought that we could rule it
I thought that some brave act of vagary would take that wall and bust right through it
And all those things I didn't tell you, still rattling round here in my head
Like lying next to you was heaven, my heaven, was lying there beside you in your bed
I hold these moments, like photos in my wallet, like thumbtacks on my map
And I know exactly what I'd do different if I ever had the chance
But I chose a life of highways and strangers and lovers
And I know exactly what I have to sacrifice – living in this town
So it seems my life will fit in boxes
Still it seems my heart won't travel light
'Cause you turned all the bad in me to goodness
And you turned all my loneliness to light
And all those things I cannot tell you will drag along behind the car
So it seems I'll still be searching for you
Even when I know exactly where you are
I hold these moments, lying wakeful in my rest, laying heavy on my chest
And I know exactly how I'd be different if I ever had the chance
But I chose a life of highways and strangers and lovers
And I know exactly what I have to sacrifice – living in this town
You call it fearless, and I've got you believing
That there's some great act of bravery in the why that I am leaving
And all those things I couldn't tell you, I guess I'll never tell you now
Like I made such a mess of loving you, that I can't go on living in this town
I can't go on living in this town
This Poetry
Who could say which one was chicken, which one egg
But so many things get lost, baby, so many things just change
And you have been so many things to me along the way
I've kept a vigil at your doorway, I've tried to see it your way
Cultivated sadness – oh so bright – on all those sleepless nights
Love could never be the ground we stand on, but love has got to be the air we breathe
And I know that I breathe easier when I feel your eyes on me
This poetry of you and me is bigger still than I can see
We get caught up in that one verse and we've stayed here far too long
Maybe it's time, my love, to sing another song
Love is far too precious and we waste so much time
Fighting over what to call it, where to put it, how to do it
Why can't we just be it? I'll be yours and you be mine?
But I'll move on, I'll be fine – I always am
This time I love the thing you made of me even if you can't
And if this road comes back again, I hope that things are better. I hope we fit together
Love could never be the ground I stand on, but love has always been the air I breathe
And I know that I breathe easier when you're sleeping next to me
The poetry of you and me is bigger still than I can see
We get caught up in the one verse and we've stayed here far too long
Maybe it's time, my love, to sing another song
Who can say which way tomorrow will change? Who can say?
Maybe you'll write it in a letter, maybe we end up together, maybe just I'll just fade away
I've kept a vigil at your doorway, I have tried to see it your way
I've tried to let you go. I've tried everything I know
So many things get lost, baby
So many things get lost along the way
So many things
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